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I was wrong. The boys name was Derek Baxter. He was 22 years old.
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Current Location: US, Hawaii, Honolulu, Center Dr, 389
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Stasianary
21 August 2009 @ 10:12 pm
I got to talk to Corey.
I got an update on the boy who was killed.
He worked in Corey's division. He was one of Corey's guys.
He asked me if I remembered him, but I can't. I can't place who he is.
He sounded very quiet. I feel sad for him too.
I got an update on the boy who was killed.
He worked in Corey's division. He was one of Corey's guys.
He asked me if I remembered him, but I can't. I can't place who he is.
He sounded very quiet. I feel sad for him too.
It's so tragic.
The boy, I think Corey said his name was Daniel, definitely Baxter, was riding his bike on the North Shore with another boy from the boat. They were going towards Chinaman's Hat on Kamehameha Highway.
A car was headed in the opposite direction. Somehow the driver fell asleep at the wheel and crossed the double lines, into oncoming traffic and hit Baxter. The other boy was barely missed by the car. Baxter was pronounced dead on the scene.
Everyone is upset because Kamehameha Highway has been closed for the last 3 hours. I wonder, how many of them are upset because this boy is dead. I don't know where to file this information.
The boat is such a small place. This will be hard to deal with. All I can do is pray for him.
Article on KGMB9
Article on the Honolulu Advertiser
I'm sure that there will be more information about this as the night goes on.
According to the articles, they don't even know his name yet, which is interesting, because I already know it. We will see what they say about it.
Current Mood: 
sad
sad21 August 2009 @ 09:15 pm
I posted a LONG entry while I was on the airplane. I thought that it saved, like how the LJ client does, but it totally didn't. That makes me sad. I know I hardly write enough as it is.. & then to lose a whole entry? Tragety. Worse of all, I don't think I can even remember half of it. One good thing, maybe it was just therapy enough to write that much, & not really for anyone to read [though I love anyone who reads!]. Hmm.
I got back yesterday from Alaska. Alaska is a place that always will be in my heart. It is so beautiful there. True, I live in a beautiful place, who doesn't want to live in Hawaii? But Alaska is different. It's like a magestic kind of beauty. Those mountains are thousands of years old. They have withstand time. It's amazing to look at them & you just stand in awe. Alaska is beautiful. I always feel like I could move back there while I'm there, but then when I come back, I don't think that I could. I miss it. But I don't know if I could have winter again, after not having it for so long. I mean, it's fun for about 2 days, but then it's just cold. It was nice being back there. It was nice seeing my old neighborhood, my old street, my old house. All looking the same after 20 years. It was nice going back to see places that I used to go as a kid. I liked going to Homer.. I had a few good summers there.
The reason we were in Alaska was to attend my Grandmother's funeral. My dad's mom. She was buried next to my Grandfather in a beautiful silver urn with birds flying across the front. It was a family reunion. We saw all of my Dad's sisters & brother. I hadn't seen most of them since I was 15. It was nice being with them, but then crazy.. especially with 4 people who have a plan & the rest of us just have to guess. It was an emotional week. My sister Charlotte cried over the smallest things, but I'm not sure if my Grandmother's death was the root of all of it.
I wasn't very close with her. When I read her obituary, I actually learned a few things that I didn't know. One thing for sure, she surely loved my Grandpa & my Grandpa loved her. He died in 2005. I wasn't able to go to his funeral. My Mom said that my Grandmother probably would have died sooner if she didn't have Altizimer's Disease. It was heart breaking enough for her to go through my Grandfather's death daily. We were a little surprised that she lasted these 4 years.
I feel sad for my Dad. It seems like he hasn't had his grievence yet. Like, he's just a shadow of the person that he normally is. He hardly smiles anymore. Anyone who knows my Dad, knows that he is ALWAYS smiling or laughing or looking on the brightside. He's the goofy guy, the good natured guy, the happy guy... but I feel like I haven't seen that guy in a while. I don't know how to help him. I just keep telling him that I love him & that I'm here.. but I don't know. Hopefully he will be able to say his peace & cry & let her go. I just don't like seeing him so sad.
Death is all around me. While we were in Alaska, one of my Dad's good friend's nephew was killed in Afghanistan. My beloved dog, Momi, who is 13 years old.. isn't doing so good. I just don't know how to deal with that. Especially, because she has been there for so long. I can't imagine what it would be like to go to my Mom's house & not have her there anymore. I think I just kind of don't think about it, like maybe if I don't think about it.. it will go away. I don't know what to make of that. Then one of Corey's friends, told me that someone he knows died today. He got hit by a car. But that's all he told me.. no details, so that makes me feel sad. I don't even know this person, but here he is, so fresh. Died today. I don't know where to put that information.
Then, with so much death, there is new life. Friends of mine having babies. I suppose this .. I have mixed feelings about this. I have mixed feelings about this whole baby thing. I know that it's like, that's where I am in my life. Friends are getting married, moving away, having families. Part of me is like, Wow, you are going to be the last one to start a family. You are going to be 27 this year. Then part of me is like, I like the quietness of my house. I like that it's just Corey & me & the doggies. Like, how do you kow if you are ready? I know some people say that you are never ready, but I don't know. Everyone will be on this next phase of their life.. but I am hanging in the sidelines. I know it's like, something I should really talk to Corey about, & we have.. but I just saw the pictures from a baby shower, of a close friend, & it.. just makes me feel.. kinda sad.
I didn't lie. This is a thoughtful post. One of the most that I have had in a while. I feel this calmness wash over me when I journal. I always forget & remember this. Some how, it just feels better when it's out somewhere else. & then I can always read it again when I need to.
I will have a more upbeat post next time <3
I got back yesterday from Alaska. Alaska is a place that always will be in my heart. It is so beautiful there. True, I live in a beautiful place, who doesn't want to live in Hawaii? But Alaska is different. It's like a magestic kind of beauty. Those mountains are thousands of years old. They have withstand time. It's amazing to look at them & you just stand in awe. Alaska is beautiful. I always feel like I could move back there while I'm there, but then when I come back, I don't think that I could. I miss it. But I don't know if I could have winter again, after not having it for so long. I mean, it's fun for about 2 days, but then it's just cold. It was nice being back there. It was nice seeing my old neighborhood, my old street, my old house. All looking the same after 20 years. It was nice going back to see places that I used to go as a kid. I liked going to Homer.. I had a few good summers there.
The reason we were in Alaska was to attend my Grandmother's funeral. My dad's mom. She was buried next to my Grandfather in a beautiful silver urn with birds flying across the front. It was a family reunion. We saw all of my Dad's sisters & brother. I hadn't seen most of them since I was 15. It was nice being with them, but then crazy.. especially with 4 people who have a plan & the rest of us just have to guess. It was an emotional week. My sister Charlotte cried over the smallest things, but I'm not sure if my Grandmother's death was the root of all of it.
I wasn't very close with her. When I read her obituary, I actually learned a few things that I didn't know. One thing for sure, she surely loved my Grandpa & my Grandpa loved her. He died in 2005. I wasn't able to go to his funeral. My Mom said that my Grandmother probably would have died sooner if she didn't have Altizimer's Disease. It was heart breaking enough for her to go through my Grandfather's death daily. We were a little surprised that she lasted these 4 years.
I feel sad for my Dad. It seems like he hasn't had his grievence yet. Like, he's just a shadow of the person that he normally is. He hardly smiles anymore. Anyone who knows my Dad, knows that he is ALWAYS smiling or laughing or looking on the brightside. He's the goofy guy, the good natured guy, the happy guy... but I feel like I haven't seen that guy in a while. I don't know how to help him. I just keep telling him that I love him & that I'm here.. but I don't know. Hopefully he will be able to say his peace & cry & let her go. I just don't like seeing him so sad.
Death is all around me. While we were in Alaska, one of my Dad's good friend's nephew was killed in Afghanistan. My beloved dog, Momi, who is 13 years old.. isn't doing so good. I just don't know how to deal with that. Especially, because she has been there for so long. I can't imagine what it would be like to go to my Mom's house & not have her there anymore. I think I just kind of don't think about it, like maybe if I don't think about it.. it will go away. I don't know what to make of that. Then one of Corey's friends, told me that someone he knows died today. He got hit by a car. But that's all he told me.. no details, so that makes me feel sad. I don't even know this person, but here he is, so fresh. Died today. I don't know where to put that information.
Then, with so much death, there is new life. Friends of mine having babies. I suppose this .. I have mixed feelings about this. I have mixed feelings about this whole baby thing. I know that it's like, that's where I am in my life. Friends are getting married, moving away, having families. Part of me is like, Wow, you are going to be the last one to start a family. You are going to be 27 this year. Then part of me is like, I like the quietness of my house. I like that it's just Corey & me & the doggies. Like, how do you kow if you are ready? I know some people say that you are never ready, but I don't know. Everyone will be on this next phase of their life.. but I am hanging in the sidelines. I know it's like, something I should really talk to Corey about, & we have.. but I just saw the pictures from a baby shower, of a close friend, & it.. just makes me feel.. kinda sad.
I didn't lie. This is a thoughtful post. One of the most that I have had in a while. I feel this calmness wash over me when I journal. I always forget & remember this. Some how, it just feels better when it's out somewhere else. & then I can always read it again when I need to.
I will have a more upbeat post next time <3
Current Location: Hawaii
Current Music: [Annapolis on HBO]
20 August 2009 @ 10:01 pm
Lame. I wrote a long entry on the airplane but it got deleted. I'm going to cry now.
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
Current Location: US, Hawaii, Honolulu, Center Dr, 387
15 August 2009 @ 11:37 pm
I got this app. I thought I would test it out. Maybe now I can write more. I have been feeling the need and want to do it. We will see. It's not as easy to write a lot.
We are in Homer until Monday. Tomorrow we go to the Spit. I want a Salty Dog sweatshirt. I like being here. I have a lot of good memories. Part of my heart will always be in Alaska.
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
13 December 2008 @ 04:35 pm
The rain is sometimes kind of fun, especially when it doesn't rain a lot. It's like a novelty. However, right now, there are buckets of water cascading off of my roof & down my windows. I can barely see across the street. My yard is turning into a mud pit. The wind is howling through my garage & sounds like a tea kettle. The water on the windows behind me sounds like an aquarium. It's crazy.
Also, the rain is killing my satellite dish. I was happily enjoying the Top 40 FUSE countdown of 2008, but now, I am impatiently waiting for the signal to be acquired. What the heck?
That's why I don't like it when it rains. Also, if it's going to rain, it should be a little colder outside... but after all, it is Hawaii, so it's not that cold.
I think there is a giant rain cloud over the whole state. It's been like this for 3 days.
Scyntha is on her way over to hang out with me. Maybe we can play with the Wii if the dish won't work.
Hmm. if I wasn't so worried about getting sick, then I might go play in the lakes and rivers that the rain has created outside of my door. Something to think about.
Also, the rain is killing my satellite dish. I was happily enjoying the Top 40 FUSE countdown of 2008, but now, I am impatiently waiting for the signal to be acquired. What the heck?
That's why I don't like it when it rains. Also, if it's going to rain, it should be a little colder outside... but after all, it is Hawaii, so it's not that cold.
I think there is a giant rain cloud over the whole state. It's been like this for 3 days.
Scyntha is on her way over to hang out with me. Maybe we can play with the Wii if the dish won't work.
Hmm. if I wasn't so worried about getting sick, then I might go play in the lakes and rivers that the rain has created outside of my door. Something to think about.
Current Location: Living Room
Current Mood: 
contemplative
contemplative25 November 2008 @ 06:47 pm
I had forgotten how really good music just seems to spark things inside of you.
[Decode || Paramore]
I had forgotten how much I missed writing. How much I missed getting into the zone. Into feeling my fingers on the keyboard.
I almost had a heart attack today because I thought that all of the writing that I did while I was in college was gone. Disappeared. Deleted. I wanted to find this poem that I wrote, "here," so badly that I was willing to go through EVERY disk & CD that I have. Luckily, I found it on the first try, along with quite a few other gems, including my senior paper.
[Island || The Starting Line]
For kicks, I uploaded it to a self-publishing website. I am a snob with that sort of thing. I promised, joked, promised that I would not self-publish. That is something ANYONE can do. It doesn't mean that you actually MADE it in the writing world. It just means that you copped out! However, it gave me shivers to see my writing in a book form. To see my name floating across the cover of a book. I might have to rethink the whole self-publishing thing. On the other hand, my story is no where near being ready to be published. I need someone to re-read it & seriously, seriously tell me what I need to fix.
Also, I haven't started doing any Thanksgiving preparations other than buying the things. I haven't started cleaning house. I haven't started putting anything away. When Corey is gone, my time at home is like a cloud. I don't remember doing things. Time goes by slowly, yet quickly, & then it's tomorrow all over again.
[Re-Education || Rise Against]
December brings a lot of good & not so good things. I should be thankful for a lot of things.
I am thankful that Corey & I will finally, after 2 attempted Thanksgivings, have one together. That we will share with our extended families. That we will celebrate in our very first house. That after 6 years, Corey will get to spend a Thanksgiving with family. That he will be able to cook his first turkey. I am thankful for that.
I am thankful that everyone in my family & friends are safe, healthy, & happy. I know that even though I can't be with everyone that I love, that they will know that I am thinking about them & that I hold them safely in my heart, always.
I am thankful for my parents. Sometimes, I think, that people don't appreciate things until they are older. I am glad that I have always had a close relationship with my parents. I am thankful for my MIL. I really couldn't have asked for a better MIL. I am thankful that she was able to spend Thanksgiving with us.
[Sex on Fire || Kings of Leon]
December brings a lot of good things:
My birthday [26!], my Dad's birthday [51!], Christmas Break, 2nd Anniversary[!], Christmas, New Year's Eve
December also means that the bad things are drawing near. I can't say when, or how soon, but Corey will be leaving.
This leaves me with a lot of bad feelings. I am afraid. I am afraid that I am not strong enough. I put up a good facade. I can smile on the outside & be eaten alive on the inside. I survived one deployment. I can do it again. It doesn't mean that I don't dread it everyday.
It's the life of a military wife. Deployments come & go. The coming happens a lot faster & the going happens a lot slower.
It's hard to smile when your world is falling apart.
[Let it Rock || Kevin Rudolf]
I think that I need to start reading again. I need to start doing things that make me happy again. I need to write my novel [the new one that no one knows about]. I need to see what the big deal is with these Twilight books is. I need to make art. I think that it's time that I do something for myself.
14 November 2008 @ 06:48 pm
The pep talk that I never knew I needed.
Dear NaNoWriMo Author,
And whatever you do, don’t let it end up in the Milk Crate of Shame. Think of where we’d be if all the great stories we love today ended up there, uncared for and forgotten by their authors, because they got distracted by some Shiny New Idea while they were working.
Take a deep breath. There. Feel better?
Yeah. So do I.
Now let’s get back to work.
And about the cheating…I won’t tell if you won’t.
Meg
Thank you Meg. Hopefully now I will be able to remember this & actually finish my story. I think it will be a good one.... if I ever give it a chance to write itself. LOL :)
Dear NaNoWriMo Author,
I know what you’re doing. You’re thinking about cheating, aren’t you?
Ha! Caught you!
Come on. One cheater knows another. You think I’ve never been there?
Maybe for some of you it’s not too late: you haven’t crossed the line…maybe you’re just entertaining the idea of abandoning the story you’re currently working on.
Maybe you’re just thinking of taking a break to jot down a few notes about the story you just thought of--that ultra-fresh, totally cool, sure-to-be-a-bestseller you dreamed up the other morning while you were supposed to be figuring out where you took the wrong turn on your work-in-progress.
But I’m here to let you know: That’s how it starts. The next thing you know, you’re doing character sketches. Then a little dialogue. Then whole scenes.
And then you’re through. You’ve given up on your work-in-progress entirely, and the next thing you know, you’ve started working full-time on this new story you thought up. I know only too well what comes next. The excuses. The rationalization: “So what? So I switched stories. I’ve still got a work-in-progress. It’s just not my original work-in-progress. So I’m a little behind in my word count. I’m still writing, right?”
Sure, it seems innocent enough. But the problem with doing this is that of course the new story always seems better than that old busted up, out-of-control story you’ve been working on for so long. That new story has the aura of dewy freshness to it. It’s calling to you! It’s all, “Yoo-hoo…look at me! I don’t have any plot problems and my characters are way-intriguing and some of them wear leather jackets and oh, yeah, you know that weird transition thing you’ve got going on near chapter four that you can’t figure out? I don’t have that!”
I know. It sounds good.
But how long until some other story idea comes along and twitches its enticing little characters at you, and you decide to abandon this new one for it? How many words will you have then?
Not enough for a whole book, that’s how many. And here’s the thing: If you keep doing this, you never will.
Do you think I haven’t been there? Cheating on your current work-in-progress with a new one is the oldest trick in the book! I have a plastic milk crate crammed full of stories I started and never finished because I cheated on them, t hen got so enamored of my new story, I never went back to the old one. Over and over and over again.
And that, my friends, is how you never finish a book. Take it from someone who has hundreds (maybe even a few thousand) of unfinished stories because of this phenomenon.
So stop right now! Stop using a new story idea (or whatever excuse you’ve come up with) to avoid the work you still have to do on your current work-in-progress!
Put the Shiny New Story away for later, when you’re done with your WIP! If your Shiny New Story is that good, it will still be there waiting for you.
And whatever you do, don’t let it end up in the Milk Crate of Shame. Think of where we’d be if all the great stories we love today ended up there, uncared for and forgotten by their authors, because they got distracted by some Shiny New Idea while they were working.
Take a deep breath. There. Feel better?
Yeah. So do I.
Now let’s get back to work.
And about the cheating…I won’t tell if you won’t.
Meg
Thank you Meg. Hopefully now I will be able to remember this & actually finish my story. I think it will be a good one.... if I ever give it a chance to write itself. LOL :)
Current Mood: 
hopeful
hopeful13 November 2008 @ 07:30 pm
Today was supposed to be my "Clean the house, do the laundry, do the dishes, correct papers" day. However, (I never finished this entry).
--
I signed up for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) this year. However, I didn't get my inspiration until 11.1 & I haven't really written until today.
After thinking about my story for the last, oh 13 days, I have finally figured it out. I practically have the whole plot written, but I was missing the most important element..... who is telling the story? I wrote about two pages from "her" (my main girl character) point of view, before I realized that she isn't even in half of the story. That's where I got stuck. Then Jack (my main character), started telling his story to me & I realized that it is HIS story. Finally, I have it together. Haha. I kept going, "Gah, 13 days have passed & I haven't even started?!?" Hopefully the rest will come as easily. :)
I'm very excited. I have almost 1000 words. That is SO behind. Some people already have 50,000 words! (That's the goal, btw). Over 30 days @ 1,667 words a day, by now, I "should" be at 21,667 words by 11.13! Holy crap. Only 20,000 more to go. HAHAHA. Yeah, so chances are, I am not going to make it do the goal unless I really, really get an inspiration. We'll see.
--
In other news, I only have about 5 hours before it's Friday! YES! FRIDAY! It took long enough to get her. Bad enough that I had to live through two Mondays (Wednesday felt like Monday!).
--
I signed up for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) this year. However, I didn't get my inspiration until 11.1 & I haven't really written until today.
After thinking about my story for the last, oh 13 days, I have finally figured it out. I practically have the whole plot written, but I was missing the most important element..... who is telling the story? I wrote about two pages from "her" (my main girl character) point of view, before I realized that she isn't even in half of the story. That's where I got stuck. Then Jack (my main character), started telling his story to me & I realized that it is HIS story. Finally, I have it together. Haha. I kept going, "Gah, 13 days have passed & I haven't even started?!?" Hopefully the rest will come as easily. :)
I'm very excited. I have almost 1000 words. That is SO behind. Some people already have 50,000 words! (That's the goal, btw). Over 30 days @ 1,667 words a day, by now, I "should" be at 21,667 words by 11.13! Holy crap. Only 20,000 more to go. HAHAHA. Yeah, so chances are, I am not going to make it do the goal unless I really, really get an inspiration. We'll see.
--
In other news, I only have about 5 hours before it's Friday! YES! FRIDAY! It took long enough to get her. Bad enough that I had to live through two Mondays (Wednesday felt like Monday!).
Hopefully tomorrow goes by in a flash. I am thinking about going to get my nails done or having my friend Christie paint them (she offered!!) before the party on Saturday night. It would be nice, but I'm not sure if it's really going to happen or not.
Right now, I'm watching the "Chuck" episode from Monday. I forgot to watch it. Haha. I think that Corey is going to watch it without me, so I'll just watch it now, while I wait for CSI to come on. I guess that's all for now. Hopefully more to come.. eventually.
10 November 2008 @ 10:28 pm
It's 10:28 p.m. in the lovely state of Hawaii. I am thinking about going to bed, but I don't have to if I don't want to since I don't have school tomorrow! Yipee!
We went on a field trip today to see a play called Midsummer's Night Madness. It was a play for kids based on the Shakespeare one. I like it because they would randomly cut into it [intrustive narrator much?] & explain what was going on or give us some random Shakespeare tidbit. Haha. I think that the kids liked it too.
The rest of the day went by pretty quick. I have two more days of Glass Etching, so that's great! Especially because I get to teach Digital Art again. That's so much fun. I am going to make Corey a etched Darth Vader thing, if I can ever stay focused long enough to do it. I really, really, really need to correct papers tomorrow [& do laundry, & the dishes, & vacuum...]
Corey's underway for the time being. He shouldn't be gone terribly long, but it's still a bummer to be alone.
However, I did have a nice afternoon. Christie called & asked me if I wanted to take a walk with her & her kids. I walked over to her house & as soon as I met up with them, like literally the second we met, it started to rain. At first the rain was tolerable, light sprinkles, but it wasn't mean to last. It started to downpour! Luckily, by that time, we were already near my house. We just decided to wait the rain out instead. We ordered pizza & watched Ice Age because that's Hailey's favorite movie (she's 2!). It was nice to spend time with someone else. Her husband had duty.
Oh, & I must say, I got a new phone. It's a crackblackberry. I LOVE IT SO MUCH! It's so easy to use & pretty & does everything that I want it to. I will recommend one to anyone! HAha. I <3 it.
Anyway, I gotta send a quick email to Corey & then it's bedtime for me. Hasta.
Current Location: Office
Current Mood: contemplative
contemplative10 November 2008 @ 10:04 pm
I did it. I made the commitment. Let's just see how long it really will last. & Uh, in my absence, what the heck happened to LJ? It's like.. eh, weird. I just want my codes from my other journal! Uh help? Who will reteach me the ways of the LJ?
Anyway, I swear if you friend me again, you will not be disapointed. I need the LJ. Seriously.
Also, I need to get back into the writing habit, whether it be fiction or non-fiction. Ha.
Anyway, making a new journal is always weird.
Anyway, I swear if you friend me again, you will not be disapointed. I need the LJ. Seriously.
Also, I need to get back into the writing habit, whether it be fiction or non-fiction. Ha.
Anyway, making a new journal is always weird.